HELP PLEASE ASAP!! :) 1. Compare the bold sections of both sentences and then answer the question that follows: Original: My father disliked sleet, but my father disliked hail more. Revised: My father disliked sleet, but he hated hail more. What was done to the bolded section to improve the sentence? A longer phrase was converted to a single word. A modifier that did not add meaning was removed. Redundant phrases were eliminated. Repetitive words were replaced with synonyms and

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HELP PLEASE ASAP!! :)

1. Compare the bold sections of both sentences and then answer the question that follows:

Original: My father disliked sleet, but my father disliked hail more.
Revised: My father disliked sleet, but he hated hail more.

What was done to the bolded section to improve the sentence?

A longer phrase was converted to a single word.
A modifier that did not add meaning was removed.
Redundant phrases were eliminated.
Repetitive words were replaced with synonyms and pronouns.

2. Read the paragraph and answer the question that follows:

The town of Belmond, Iowa, needs to add weather sirens. The loud and steady wail would warn citizens of approaching danger. If past history is an indication, the sirens will save hundreds of lives. With a prediction of a deadly storm season, the alert system is needed immediately.

Which sentence should be revised to eliminate redundancy?

The town of Belmond, Iowa, needs to add weather sirens.
The loud and steady wail would warn citizens of approaching danger.
If past history is an indication, the sirens will save hundreds of lives.
With a prediction of a deadly storm season, the alert system is needed immediately.

3. Read the sentence and answer the question that follows:

In the event that you spy a tornado, go and seek shelter in a dark room that has no windows.

Which statement best describes how this sentence can be made more concise.

It has a phrase that can be converted to reduce wordiness.
It has a modifier that may be eliminated because it does not add any meaning.
It has a redundant phrase that may be revised to eliminate repetitiveness.
It has a redundant pair that may be revised to eliminate repetitiveness.

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(Based on todays review)

antonsandiego

1) The improvement which was done to the bolded section in the sentence to make it correct is : Repetitive words were replaced with synonyms and pronouns. As it shown in the example, there is no need to duplicate the subject 'father' as it is clear to which word the pronoun 'he' relates. We always try to enrich our speech, so it's better to say the same thing in synonymous form:hates is replaced with dislikes - all in all it sounds good, looks natural and preserves the meaning of the first sentence.
2) The sentence which should be revised to eliminate redundancy is With a prediction of a deadly storm season, the alert system is needed immediately. A redundancy in a sentence is when something is repeated for no reason, when there is obvious detail that brings no sense and can be omitted. From the first sentence we know that sirens were needed, so there is no need to repeat that.
3) The statement which best describes how this sentence can be made more concise is : It has a phrase that can be converted to reduce wordiness. The phrase from which the sentence is started is quite long, and according to its meaning, there is a better (shorter) equivalent, which is 'if'. Now it is concise : If spy a tornado, go and seek shelter in a dark room that has no windows.
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